Monday, October 31, 2011

ALHAMDULILLAH..that's all i wanna say.. :)

Salam all :)
oh,i''ve been thinking of updating my bl0g but it seems like i am to0 lazy... leaving my blog deserted n empty.!!
s0 i am in quite a mo0d tonight,let's start writingggg( yeaaaaahhhh)..
okay ,there is one thing that really burden my mind..i take it as a resp0nsibility n all i want t0 do is to get rid of it as s0on as's some kind of mental torture to me,u see..i am a girl wh0 love food a lot,n i hold on to da principle dat "every meal is important"..s0,when i start to lose my appetite,n my st0mach shows great repulsion toward food,u should know dat something is really WRONG with me..something seems to really b0ther my mind a l0t!!  ladies n gentleman,can u guess..??
oh's kinda embarassing to admit,but i am nerv0us scare t0 take my car's permit test.. n..if u gonna ask me sweetly "r u having butterflies in da st0mach.??" i'll say :NO..!becoz it's not only butterfly,but i have all kind of species,even the unknown one,in my st0mach rite now..!!oh,i simply hate it..
alright..i'm stuck with the fact dat,i want t0 pass da test so badly but i can't bring myself to face it at da same time..urrrghh..
n i really wish dat i can have a her0, a superhero,come n save me right away..jeng3..but n0ne..
dis is something that u have to depend on your self..
of coz..i receive such a wondeful support from my parents..i l0ve them so much..!!n my sister who challenge me ,n like a witch will curse me into failing in the test  if i dun follow her order..(ok,dun get her juz her WEIRD way of supporting others...teehee)
sis dieba,my only l0vely sister :P

s0..i pray a lot to face dis day..the day f0r the car's permit test.............................
n,th0ugh i know by heart every steps for the test,i still can't d0 it's like every muscle,skeletal and fat  in me is disobeying my there a problem of transmission of impulse or something..??
there is no p0wer n strength except with Allah the Almighty..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah.
things do go wrong that day,but he makes it RIGHT for me..
i alm0st fail da test,u know at the part where we have to drive the car up the small hill,brake,n push the pedal little more,release da handbrake..n there u go,safely landed on the ground.
but..when it is my turn,at the moment when i release the handbrake,i can feel the car is reversing (dis means u r fail) when it suppose to moving forward..i dun know what to do,i am helpless but i dun give up on Him..
and as miraculously as it can get,the car suddenly jerk forward n i PASS the test... :)
Thanks to Allah the Almighty ..

the secret here is..before i do the test,i constantly pray n i promised myself to thank Him first,to thank Allah first if i ever pass this..n only after that,will i inform the news to my mom,dad n the whole world..hehe
so,after i get the result, i immediately open the digital quran in my phone n recite it gratefully.. :)
n only then,i text my parent :D

yeahh..big smileee.. (^_______^)
i feel free..n0w..

yeah..right..Mr Quote..!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

ReCharg!ng myself ($_$)

oh,h0w i miss t0 write this bl0g..where i can mumbling,sighing ,complaining n all..hehe
anyway,i d0 have some moment of breakdown (based on my previous post) ..n..n0w,i l0ve to update a bit about how my days went on..
u see,after getting quite a bad result for my chemist da last time,i make a pr0mised to mend my mistakes..
"if u can trust yourself,when the rest of the w0rld doubt on you..",that's a part of my fav poem...n i keep playing that words in my juz give me s0me kind of positive energy ,n keep me recharged..
n..the most important thing of all,is t0 never stop PRAYING...
"Allah never promised that this life will be easy,but He did promise to go with you along the way.."
so,praise to The Almighty,I did reach my target quite successfully...Alhamdulillah...
well,it such a small achievement,to be true..but i'm still happy with it.. have taught me several things..
1.It's your life,set your own target n strike f0r it..
2.Always be open to advise,critism n comment..Don't simply accept or reject it..but take your time to evaluate's ok if u don't agree with others,or other people don't agree with u..that's how this world run..
3.Learn to handle failure.It's a part of growing up.
4.Never be satisfy with your success.Of course,u have to be grateful with what u g0t..n there is nothing wrong in cellebrating your vict0ry..but,don't put a full stop to that..always find a room for improvement n gain further..Trust me ,there is so much to expect in this life :)
but,here is only my personal view b0ut life..u r free to view it in your own standpoint..


s0,i won't give up..
n0,i won't breakdown..
sooner than it seems life turns ar0und..
and i will try to  be str0ng,
even if it all  g0es wrong...


okay...n0w let's talk b0ut something else..
it's a mid- break..!!yay!!!!!

i'm t0tally happy with my days..
well,th0ugh i dun have any co0l plan about how to spend dis one month holiday, but i'm still treasure the fact that i can be away fr0m book without any commitment no workload n no assignment..
but still,there is s0me of my friend who already miss college that much..miss to study n all..h0w good n inn0cent they are...haha
but,seri0usly..i'm not ready to go back to the college life..
i do have fun all al0ng in college..
but,a short break like dis is a great escape..
it give me time t0 recharge... before getting physically n mentally prepared 4 sem 2..
tata 4 now.. (^^,)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

hell bout day..huk3 T_T

ya sapa nih brsawang ter0k...???heheee..tuan dy malas...busy.??that's one of the most relevant excuse i can give on y i dun update my blog.. :/
but now.......i really need to let out dis feeling...n...this is not da first time 4 me to make a personal post bout here we go....
dear blog...................
u know,today is the fourth day of my holidays,which i waste f0r nothing...NOTHING!well that really sounds like me,to juz relax n doing things at eleventh hour ...but...since i promised myself to change..n..since i got tonne of homeworks to be done...n...the fact that there is less than 1 week before i  return to my college...i try to motivate myself to get to work..
yes..i open my books,grab my pen..n..i found myself staring at the same page for more than 10 minutes..yes.i'm TRYING to read,but i juz can't focus.!!!i dun know y..what's wrong with i juz lost my interest in chemistry.???
let's get deeper...........................let me tell you something so that i can feel btter..this little secret of me,that i can't keep to myself any longer..
the reasons y i juz can't concentrate..
it's  becoz of my.....................
my .........................................
my terrible standardize result........................ :(

yeah...i'm n0t that excellent in chemistry,but i never thinks it is hard...
for da first time of my life........i dun get A for my chemistry..
n this is serious..!!!this is terrible..!!it suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe if i get B,i can at least feel ok about it..but no..listen.....i only get 58%.. now,do u see me as an idiot.?
i dun know..
maybe i can accept the fact,if the questions are really hard..but the reality is,all the questions for the standardise test is simple..n juz need simple calculation..n..maybe a little bit of thinking...
so..why dis mark.??
i can't explain..i dun thing for sure,i hate myself.!!!!!!!!!!!
yes..i dun manage my time very well during answering the questions,i calculate the answer on a piece of paper first..i am planning to recheck before i copy the answer on my answer sheet..yes,i take my own sweet time doing all this..n i dun even glance at the clock..
suddenly,the lecturer annouced, 5 minutes left.!! that instant,i game is hands is shaking as violently as my heart..
lub dup..lub dup..lub dup...!!
my heart almost stop when i have to hand the paper to the lecturer..
there is still blank spaces begging me to be filled..
n..i can only pray for miracle to happen..anything...magic spell.?? here it is..
"huh..sapa suruh over-confident sgt.??"
thanks sis..sbb marah angah..pleze..mrh lebey lg..
plezeee,shout a little more...................coz i'm not good in scolding myself..
i can see how other looks down on me bcoz of this mark..
but i can't change a thing bout dis..
so..keep on give me dat's ok..
i shall get used to it..
u know what broke my heart even more.???
after the standardise 1,i need to fill my target marks for standardise 2..
so..i put an A for chemistry..coz i juz want to redeem my that i can stop hating myself..
then,sumbody commented"u should target based on your ability..B will do" that the way u see me.??
do i look so helpless n pathetic to u.??
ok..FINE then..
u know..i am trying my best to accept this failure..
trying to not to be embarass with myself..
trying to walk into the lectures hall with confident......
so..that's my story..
i dun know y i ever write dis..
maybe i will regret myself  for posting dis..
but for now..
this is the only thing that can make me feel better..
to voice out all the sadness n my dispointment that i hold inside..........
oh..but dun worry..
i'm totally ok now..i shall be alright.. 
everyday is a BRAND NEW day..let's not wake up with yesterday's regret (^^,)

                                              let da rains fall down,n wake my dreams :P

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

build da wall ar0und my heart n break it again..?

n0w it hard to start believing again...
arhh..i'm n0t trying to brings up some old issues,but now,as things turn out to be like dis..i juz need some space to clear my mind..

years ago,a few months after tremor's death,dis little creature came to my life,let juz call him,W.s0rry i can't tell his name for some reasons. (tremors is my dearest cat,da one dat i consider as a friend, i means a bestfriend, who dies in an excident infront of my house..Yes..!i'm having some difficulty in accepting da fact of her death..i hope it just a nightmare..i can't believe how many times i've been praying hoping that miracle will happen..any magic spell.??nope..! she's gone..n starting from that moments i've been avoiding any other creature that came to my life..such an idiot i am..! i thought my love for her was to0 strong that nobody's should ever try to replace her way..!but then,i understand..l0ve is not about keeping something juz 4 yourself..n heart is not a memory card..u dun have to delete sumthing,juz to install some brand new memories..l0ve is about sharing n my heart is big enough for everyone,for every little creature that God sends to me..i put tremors in special place in my heart,n nothing gonna change dat..n..only after i understands that,i can sincerely accept W in my life )

 W was a complete opposite of tremors..W was a male,n tremors is a female,a loving mom infact! W was a baby,dun even open his eyes yet when he first came to me..but tremors was already an independent kitty when i found her..W was so weak,he afraid of everything ,even to human-strangers..that's make me feel the urge to protect him..tremors,on the other hand,was like a real nothing could go wrong when i was with her..n that's make me feel so safe n protected..W love to raise my attention,he would sleep on my arms n will come immediately to me if i called him..tremors has some kind of pride,yes she loves attention n she understand my orders very well,but if i called her,she won't come straight to me,but she will stop a few distance from me so that i have to walk at least 1 step to get her..but..1 similarity that they share,is that they understands me so much,well,even if they don't,they at least listen..n..magically,hugging them give me some strength,in the hard moments in my life...
  so,u see..?they r special in their own way..a special gift from God..but sadly,we never have a chance to say a proper gudbye to each other..trem0r's death was the last thing that i ever expect in my life..n..w..i had to give him away to my neighbours as my family n i were moving to ******.. it wasn't an easy decision to make..but after considering everything,i agree..anyway,my neighbour promised me that i can visit him anytime i want to,and she will take a very gud care of my dear w..and i trust her.....
   to make da l0ng story short, i came back a month later just to listen her excuses that,she don't know where w has gone..the end,makcik.???
u kn0w,bcoz i can't take him with me (f0r some reasons)..
n bc0z u insist..
n u pr0mised me..
n..bcoz i trust u..
n that's y i gave u my dear w...........
"dear w...i really l0ve u..n i know,u l0ve me to0..but honey,my parents are moving,n pets are not allowed at those area..i'm sorry..i've considered leaving u with my grandma,but that wasn't a gud choice grandma hate cats,n they are a l0t of stray dogs around those area..i'm so dumb worry..i dun think u are strong enough to protect dear,dis is my last choice,the only option that i have,i will leave u with this dear auntie,my neighbour..she like u a l0t..she keep on talking on how cute u are..n she offered herself to take care of you..she will be a better guardian than i,please forget me..if the next moment we met,u don't recognise me anymore..that's will be ok..bc0z i know..u finally moving on with your life..please be happy..n..dun miss me..bcoz missing someone can hurt u a lot..behave yourelf..n gudbye..",if w understands all this last words,will he still hate me..?i dun know how's his life has been..but 1 thing 4 sure,i know Allah is watching..
   now...the same dilemma makes me write dis,dis 15 May,i shall go to hostel..yes..i'm furthering my study in foundation sc n tech in unikl,thanks to now,who's going to take care of my 3 little cats.??it's time t0 decide...........................................n...i make my ch0ice..n..i put my faith in ALLAH dis time..cause He knows da best..! (^_^)

You must trust and believe in people,or life becomes impossible-Anton Checkor
someday everything will all make perfect sense,so for now,laugh at da confusion,smile through da tears,n keep reminding urself that everything happens 4 a reason..
falling out of l0ve is hard,falling  4 betrayal is worst,broken trust n broken heart..i kn0w..i know..
these w0und don't seem t0 heal,this pain is just to0 real,there's just to0 much that time cann0t erase...

u used t0 be da best thing dat ever been mine..n..u still are ;)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Haru Haru MMV

d0n't lo0k back,just leave..
d0n't lo0k 4 me again,just move on.!
i d0n't regret loving you..
so..just take the go0d memories with you..

i'll just try to be patient someh0w..
i'll just manage to stand it somehow..
the m0re i do that,u should be happy..
day by day,i'm going NUMB.!!

[MMV] Big Bang: Lies

(Love is pain)
Dedicated to my broken-hearted people
One's old a flame
Just scream my name
And I'm so sick of love song (song)
Yeah, I hate damn love song (song)
Momento of ours


Sunday, April 10, 2011

dax skowla agama nih..............

pernah aq kata..

1.budak skowla agama nih ketinggalan..x up to date lgsung..
"eww..tg0k la cra dy brpakaian..that s0 yesterday..!!pakai ken pelekat.??sebijik cam tokwan aq.." dgr lg..dey all kta..budak skowla agama ni kolot..
"apa la,lex lu..nk c0uple pn x buley..yg ni x bley..yg tuh x bley..kuno bt0l la..!!"

3.ada lg..dax agama nie..brlakon jea baek..cuba tg0k dlm tv tuh..dlm paper ke.??yg kes buli la smua tuh bkn dax skola agma..?dun try to l0ok inn0cent,k.?s0k suci l0rh..

pendek citer,mmg dax skowla agama nih ketinggalan dr plbagai aspek la...depa ni..mai dr planet mna tataw..

i'm sorry...but i dun agree ;)

1.aspek pakaian awk persoalkn.??that's really judgemental... apa kualiti seseorg tuh trletak pda pakaian dy kah.??
abes tuh..kalo kmbing kita bg pkai short skirt + baby t-shirt,dia kira up to date ka??
2.pernah dgr x quotes "betulkn yg biasa,n biasakn yg btul"..mksudnya.walaupn brcouple i2 mnjadi sesuatu yg terlalu biasa pda zaman nih,tp still bnda tuh tetap salah kn.??haram kn.??
apa hkum agama bley brubah ke mngikut pndgn majoriti.??
cuba kalau suma owg pndang org yg couple tuh ngn pelik,seolah2 nmpk org islam mkn time siang2 kt khalayak rmai time bln posa,msti org2 yg couple tuh rsa sgt2 brsalah kn..cuz the thing dat really matters to them ialah pndgn manusia.!!bkn utk mnjd yg terbaik di mataNYA..astagfirullahalazim..

3."n0body's perfect",isn't that simple.??so..xda spa yg mampu lari dr dosa..x kisah la dax skola agma pn,dyorg bkn maqsom..msti la wat pon x rsa dyorg baek..biasa jea..n..i dun see it's necessary to point out their mistakes like that..

oh,dun get sensitive..!!aq taw,bkn suma owg ckp kt dax skowla agma taw,korang yg baek2 ni x prnah ckp cen2 pon,terpikir pon x.. pon rsa cm2 gk..prlu ke nk timbulkn prbezaan ntara dax skola agma n yg bkn brskola agma..sedangkn semua manusia tuh sma disisi ALLAH..yg skola agma xyah perasan baek,ingt, ilmu tnpa amal ibarat pohon x brbuah...
n..ya..rmai kwn2 aq yg dr skola2 len,they r juz so sweet n i admired them so much..
serius,aq xda rsa prmusuhan ngn dgn dax2 skola laen..i love making new friends,x kisah la,skola mna,bgsa apa,agma apa..well,variety is da spice of life,rite.??
actually,post ni aq cuma tujukn kt certain people yg  narrow-minded..xda la..kta2 dey all tuh,i f0und it offensive,so sja jea nk suarakn blik apa yg aq rsa..hehe3..kalau terkasar bhsa cek mintak maap na..;)
peace no war (^_^)

say gudbye to lady gaga n illuminati..!

ahh..s0mething caught my attention..ok.i f0und several photos of someone i knew..well..n0pe..i nver talk to them,never even say hi..but,that's n0t da point..i juz knew them,n i found it hurt to see them behaving they way they should not..ok..senang ckp,p0sing dyorg dlm gmbr tuh sbijik cam simbol2 illuminati..n i juz wonder if they don't realise that..or r they simply imitating what lady gaga do.??huh..ok2..apa kna mgena lak ngan lady gaga nih..?obviously,lady gaga is one of da artist who devoted herself in illuminati.. "huh..?pitnah dosa kot.??" aq tduh x brasas..xpa relax dlu..cuba kita tg0k dlu mksud illuminati nih..

wikipedia:The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, "enlightened") is a name given to several groups, both historical and modern, and both real and fictitious. Historically, the name refers specifically to the Bavarian Illuminati, an Enlightenment-era secret society founded on May 1, 1776.
In modern times it is also used to refer to a purported conspiratorial organization which acts as a shadowy "power behind the throne", allegedly controlling world affairs through present day governments and corporations, usually as a modern incarnation or continuation of the Bavarian Illuminati. In this context, the Illuminati are believed to be the masterminds behind events that will lead to the establishment of a New World Order.

yurp..i heard it bf0re..illuminati nih prsatuan yg memuja syaitan,n ada yg kaitkn dyorg dgn dajjal laknatullah yg dyorg gmbarkn melalui simbol "the all-seeing eye"..

Lady Gaga, The Illuminati Puppet

u kn0w,i'm a big fan of lady gaga as well but see i'm n0t addicted to first,i think all her songs are co0l but u know as i learn more b0ut da illuminati things,the occult meaning for her lyrics..i can certainly say gudbye to her..n..arhh..dear lady gaga,u already have gud vocal,y do u hv to involve in such thing..to0 bad T_T

all right,content bwh nie aq mbik dr 1 x ubah,u all bca n nilai sniri ;)

All-Seeing Eye Symbolism

You only need to look at a couple of Lady Gaga pictures or videos to notice that she is constantly hiding one of her eyes. Most people will simply interpret this  as ”a cool thing to do” or a “fashion statement”. Those who have passed the 101 of Illuminati symbolism know that the All-Seeing Eye is probably its most recognizable symbol. The gesture of hiding one eye, usually the left one, goes way back in occult orders. Here’s an explanation of the origin of the Eye of Horus.
Horus, the sun of Osiris and Isis was called ‘Horus who rules with two eyes’. His right eye was white and represented the sun: his left eye was black and represented the moon. According to the myth, Horus lost his left eye to his evil brother, Seth, who he fought to avenge Seth’s murder of Osiris. Seth tore out of the eye but lost the fight. The eye was reassembled by magic, by Thoth, the god of writing, the moon and magic. Horus presented his eye to Osiris, who experienced rebirth in the underworld.-Dictionary of the Occult
One thing is for sure: Lady is Gaga for the All-Seeing Eye.
This last picture is very significant. It confirms the fact that the closed eye is used in the context of esoteric symbolism. Her left eye is in her hand, referring to the Hand of Fatima (evil eye). Also, one can’t ignore the resemblance with good ol’ Baphomet.


Baphomet Reminiscent horns
How about this ad…could there by more pyramids and eyes

so,r u still in d0ubt.??here are clearer example of h0w her songs related to we g0..lagu "BAD ROMANCE"

Main Story Line

The video starts with Gaga emerging from what looks like a high-tech coffin or maybe a sensory deprivation tank.
At the beginning of the video, she is deprived of her senses. Either her eyes, her ears or her nose are covered. Sensory deprivation is a torture technique used on prisoners or mind controlled slaves in order to “break” them and to facilitate their re-education. She is a beginner, an amateur and she doesn’t really know what she’s doing.

Gaga can’t see or hear anything
In one scene, she is wearing thick sunglasses and talking to herself through a mirror.
This is reminiscent of The Who’s Tommy movie, where a deaf, dumb and blind boy only becomes responsive when staring at the mirror.

The Who’s Tommy is a movie about a boy who becomes deaf, dumb and blind after a traumatic event.
Gaga then bathes herself to “wash off her sins” as Gaga said in an interview about the video. She is “wide-eyed” and innocent but we’ll see that she’ll gradually turn into a “Fame Monster”. an excellent student in sejarah,u all pt0t ingtkn pasal ritual mndi utk mnyucikan dri dr dosa ..ahh..we call that :tmpt mndi ka..?

Innocent Gaga taking an innocent bath with her big innocent eyes
She is then roughly handled by two women. She fights them but she finally accepts her fate and even raises her hands in praise.
Throughout the video, there is a back and forth between her being forced to go through with her duties as a slave and her willingness to go through with them. She is then forced to drink some vodka, which is in fact an MTV-friendly substitute for drugs. Mind controlled sex slaves are heavily drugged to numb their thoughts and make them easy to manipulate.
Gaga is then undressed and forced to perform in front of a bunch of men. Those mafioso can represent the Illuminati, the dark force ruling the music industry. The masks represent their hidden nature. Each individual represents a record company, and they are bidding to see who will sign her.
Gaga seems to be well aware of what is happening and she chooses to charm a particular guy, who seems to have what she wants. The masked man seems to enjoy what is happening to him and bids to obtain her.

One second left to the auction for the services of Lady Gaga
Gaga is then required to fulfill her duties as a sex slave by…you’ve guessed it… having sex with the winning bidder. So she proceeds into a very symbolic room.

Her hands are strategically placed under the horned heads. Immediately after, a fire ignites the room.
On each side of the bed are gazelle heads, who symbolically refer to Baphomet, the horned idol of Western occultism.
If you’ve read my other articles on the music industry, you already know of the frequent use of the likeness of Baphomet in music videos and pictures. My past articles on Gaga have shown her posing in the same way as the image above. Strategically placed horned heads have appeared in her past videos and photo shoots. Having said that, the presence of those horned heads in that room is not merely decorative, it is very symbolic.
Gaga is “offering herself” at the altar of Baphomet in order to become initiated and accepted into the Order. She does not want “to be friends” with the music industry, she wants to be an insider (she’s not a “Fame Monster” for nothing). So this offering gets consumed by fire, and not sex, because it is about Baphomet and not the Russian guy. He was just a means for her to obtain what she wanted..fame.
When the fire starts, another scene plays simultaneously showing Gaga and masked dancers dressed in red, the color of sacrifice and initiation. The virginal white garments she wore during most of the video are replaced by bloody red, a visual confirmation of the fact that she is now initiated and accepted as an insider. In my article on the 2009 VMA awards (article here), we see that Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift start out the show wearing white garments and, after a symbolic performance, they appear completely dressed in red. The codes of the music industry seem to be used over and over again, in videos, award shows and photo shoots.
Gaga then makes her trademark “Eye in the triangle” hand gesture after her initiation to make it clear who owns her now…the Illuminati.
The final scene shows Gaga lying in bed with the burned skeleton of the Russian mafiosi.
Notice how everything is burnt except the two gazelle heads. The real “intercourse” happened between Gaga and Baphomet. The guy was a tool, a middle-man who was sacrificed in the process of Gaga’s initiation.
So Gaga basically went through the steps a mega-pop star has to go through in order to “make it big” in the music industry.  She ultimately got what she wanted and apparently played the game on her own terms. Let’s see how that works out for her.

ohh ya,she started dis songs with strange lyrics:rah rah ah ah a perasan x.??s0me people says,she actually mentioning about the Egyptian sun kita blaja dlm sejarah gk la..nma pa tah..ra-atum k0wt..tg0k gmbr2 nih..

Image of the sun in the razorblade shades. She is wearing a golden dress. Gold is representative of the sun in occultism.

Golden sunlight bringing her back to life

Gaga at the center of planetary orbits

ok..that's all 4 now..i know is n0t lady gaga alone who is involved in dis illuminati thing..but,as she is da most obvioust one,n the most influencial one,i choose to write about her..i dun have any objection for anyone to choose da type of music they like,da artist they admire n whatsoever..but,pleze..dun get addicted..!!jgn la tiru bnda2 yg mungkin bley merosakkn akidah kita sbgai muslim..n..4 those who disagree with me,i'm so sorry..

Friday, April 8, 2011

Somewhere I belong-Linkin Park-Naruto the movie

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I?m not the only person with these things in mind

(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I?ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I?ve got nothing to say
I can?t believe I didn?t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it?s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
?Cause I can?t justify way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed

I will never be
Anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere

diary sorang penganggur ;)

today..8th April 2011...ari yg ke-8 aq da x keja..abah suruh brenti sbb nk amek lesen keta bg abes dlu..0uhh..i'm so driving skill is!i'm not trying to be humble..i'm seri0usly suck at driving..haha3..first time blaja ngn cegu dlu,teruk kna berletiaq...wawawa..T_T ...es0k..ari kedua nk blajaq keta..sgt la ketaq..that's y,tulih kt cni..sja nk perabih msa aq,skaligus memperabihkn msa owg yg mbca..haha2 ;)

  ohh..sja nk share dgn u all pngalaman msa aq keja dlu..besh who0aa...keja kt sal0n..oppss..bkn style bsuh2 rmbut owg tuh..nie sal0n ntok wat rwtn muka..facial,resdung,daily wash,mesotherapy..apa2 jea la kn..ser0nok..msa mula2 keja dlu ofcoz la nerv0us..stgi silap urut muka customer,kna complaint lak.. but alhamdulillah,everything turns out to be juz fine (^_~)..nseb baek la kn..lg,keja kt cni kna pndai promote product n handle outlet..ya ALLAH..outlet yg sweet tuh mmg la mnyenangkn yg fussy giler pn brlungguk..u know,ada yg brlagak..but u see, "CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT",x kira la cmna buruk pn perangai dey all,u still have 2 remain sweet n entertain them appropriately..but n0w..Alhamdulillah,i think my communicating skill is so much da blaja utk meramahkn diri dgn pelanggan n yg plg pnting utk brckp dgn org nie bkn la dlm kategori pemalu sgt..but,bila ada org tua2,automatic mulut ni trkunci..x reti la nk smbang ngn org tua2 nih.nk ckp apa...?tp..memandangkn i'm olwiz da y0ungest one in my work place,so aq da familiarize kn dri ini dgn org2 lbey brusia..cewwah..ser0nok plak..

   n..guess what..i g0t a l0t of new,bnda biasa la tuh,dpt kwn bru kn..but..what i means is,aq dpt kwn2 bru yg aq x prnah trpikir pon akn brkwn ngn org2 cm2..err..senang ckp,dey all brbeza dgn kwn2 kt skola..but,i'm so happy that we know each change my perception in some way..n i think,i change them in some way to0..yurp..sorg kakak tuh,da brubah pkai,dy pkai tdung bkn sbb dilah,tp sbb ALLAH sygkn dy n dah bka hati dy kearah tu..hidayah tu kn milik ALLAH...^_^

    kak2 tu kn..baek sgt dgn dilah..serius..they hv been such a gud excellent protector..sumbody dat i kn0w i can lean on..syg kakak..!!lg 1,kak2 tuh x bley kalo tg0k dlah x kemas..nk wat cena kak,owg semulajd selekeh..hehe..kalut ja dey all pg2,tlg perbetul tdung..tlg letak bedak..semua la..da mcm baby dyorg sweet..oh..tringt lak kt spupu dilah yg comei..msa tuh umur dy 4 thun,nma hnan..spupu prempuan la..msa tuh aq dok umah dy,nk solat..dy pn sebok msok bilik air sma.."hanan nk mndi?".."x.hnan nk mndikn kak dilah".."eh x bley..kak nk mbik wuduk ja" "ok.!!",pastu selamba ja dy tarik kaki seluar aq,sinting takat lutut" .."hnan wtpa?" "tlg mbilkn wuduk"..haha2..serius dy nk tlg.??budak ni comei dan bhaya..haha..rindu la kt hnan ;) ..dy dah msuk tadika skunk..c0meyy~

   dah la..x larat nk merapu..dh hilang cket nerv0us..Alhamdulillah..pakcik cegu memandu,pleze bear with me...(",)

Monday, April 4, 2011

jum relax2..gelak2....

teacher : Alex ,can you please find South Africa on the map.?

Alex : Here it is!

teacher : Correct!Now class,who discovered South Africa?

class : Alex!!


A man is speaking to a long-distance telephone operator. 
"Could u pleze tell me the time difference btween Taipei n Las Vegas?" ask the man.
"Juz a minute," says the operator.The man says "Thank you" and puts down the phone.

Three construction workers on the 20th floor of a building stopped work one day for lunch.
  The first guy opened his luncbox and groaned,"Not corned beef again.If I get a corned beef sandwich one more time,I'm going to jump off dis building!"
  The second man looked at his sandwich and said "What are u complaining about?I've had cheese sandwiches for 15 years.If I see one more,I'm going to throw myself off the building as well."

  The third guy,who is blond ,opened his lunchbox and said,"Oh no,not salami.If I get salami one more time,I'm going to jump to0!".
   The next day,the first man opened his lunchbox,saw corned beef,and jumped to his death.The second guy looked at his cheese sandwich n jumped.The blond guy opened his lunchbox,saw the salami n jumped as well.
   At the funeral,the first man's wife was weeping.She said"If I had known how really sick of corned beef he was,I would have never given it to him again." The second man's wife through her tears,said"I could have given him something else.I didn't realise he hated cheese so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blond guy's wife."Don't lo0k at me," she said ,"he made his own lunch."

sumber: reader's digest >_<